She spent most of the afternoon with us at the family farm on Saturday. After dinner we took her home and then Sunday morning we picked her up again for breakfast at Wafflehouse and then back to the farm to play with the grandkids all day. We discussed moving her to the farm so she would not have to be by herself at night. She liked the idea. She said she was tired of only seeing her family on Sundays.
I’ve been reading about AD and what it does to the brain, how it slowly destroys the short term memory but also scrambles the synapse so that often the victim has skewed and even false memories. Because I am on high alert now, watching for new signs, however small, I have to wonder if she does not remember being with us on Saturday, or Wednesday night when we took her to dinner. Or is it possible that she is losing the concept of time completely? I’m too new at this to be comfortable with assessing the signs yet. There is much published, easily accessible on the web, that defines common behaviors in all the stages, but I know that nothing follows an exact pattern or progresses the same in every individual.
Before broaching the topic of moving her to the farm, my husband and I first discussed it thoroughly. One thing we know we absolutely cannot do anymore is toss out something casually unless the details and timeframe have been considered and then written in stone. We have learned the hard way she struggles with hypotheticals. We cannot say we “might” do a thing and we definitely cannot use vague time. My daughter, H, called her mid-morning one day several weeks ago to tell her that she and the boys were bringing “dinner” later in the day. At 1:00 o’clock she sent an email to H wanting to know if she had offended her because she’d been watching for and expecting her to come. Is this significant? I don’t know how to file this really except in the “time loss” folder. She has always been impatient and that character trait certainly has been exacerbated but this seems more like an issue of time confusion than impatience.
The most common image conjured up by the word “Alzheimer’s” is the one where the elder is staring off into the void, unable to recognize anyone or, worse, has to be watched constantly lest he/she wanders off. I realize there are many stages to pass through before it reaches this level of devastation, but I can’t find anything definitive that says, “she will wake up one morning and not know how to go to the bathroom.” I guess I’m on alert for anything that she says or does that indicates that is an imminent threat. And then, there’s also the chance that she will remain at this stage for a long period.
Again, I don’t know what to expect so I have to be at the ready for anything. Based on my continued reading and research I am stunned to discover how many people who are effected by AD. The Alzheimer's Association reports there are now more than 5 million people in the United States living with Alzheimer's disease. Hard to say whether it’s just being better identified or if the number of elders living longer influences the growing numbers, but it’s rapidly reaching the point that very few families are not now or will not be impacted by it in the next few years. And there seems to be an increase in Early Onset AD which hits the under 60 age bracket and progresses faster than in the uber elderly. The startling thing to note is that, regardless of increased awareness of the debilitating consequences of AD and funding for research, it often blindsides families leaving them feeling helpless and unsure what to do or how to manage. Most caregivers are either elderly spouses or an aging child, often suffering from health issues of their own, compounding the daily struggle to cope.
Being a problem solver by nature, I keep grasping for solutions that I am beginning to fear are not likely to form–this time. Nevertheless, it makes no sense to stand still waiting for the steamroller to squash me. I may not solve this one, but I’ll still give it my best effort to face it and deal with it even if that means I do it unconventionally. I just keep praying...
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
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